Monday 30 August 2010

The art of doing nothing. We're experts.


Karen Walker, Grace's squeaky voiced assistant in US sitcom Will and Grace, has a blatant approach to the art of doing nothing at work. Most of us are more covert in our tactics. Sly naps in a toilet cubicle on a painful hangover morning, internet 'research' that extends to the celebrity pages of your favourite online magazine, searching for your next holiday destination when you should be finding the perfect venue for your next corporate event and those epic shopping lists you meticulously construct when you should be writing up meeting minutes. (Of course I have never done any of the above. Ahem.)

Let's face it, doing nothing (and disguising it as work) is a fine art that anyone working in an office learns to master very early on in their career. 

And last week statistics were released to prove it. Apparently junior council staff spend 68% of their time doing nothing remotely productive according to research by a management consultancy firm. It's a shocking statistic. But I'm not exactly surprised. I doubt anyone who has ever worked in an office is. In fact I would argue that splashing out on expensive research was a complete waste of precious budget deficit reducing public funds.

Facebook, favourite blogs, Twitter, eBay, online shopping sprees... having a computer in front of you presents an irresistible world of temptation away from the mundane tasks of the day. It makes it so easy to be slack. And be discreet about it. Who's to know when you're tapping in your credit card details to pay for that fabulous new top, you're not just updating your accounts spreadsheet with this month's sales figures? (Not that I condone such sloppy behaviour. Or have ever done something so slack myself. Ahem.)

So, what can we do to address this despicable state of affairs?

The management consultant's report blames managers for being uncomfortable confronting unproductive staff. So, do we need to be tougher? Maybe introduce more draconian internet security measures? Or Big Brother spying tactics? Yes, I suppose we could. But such blatant displays of the lack of trust in our workplaces will only augment the dismal dissatisfaction pay freezes, redundancies and brutal team restructurings have already inflicted. The answer has to be to look at staff motivation. Why do your team feel compelled to check Facebook every five minutes rather than do their job? How can management ignite enthusiasm and commitment in their teams? What can we do to inspire and motivate our teams when the promise of financial rewards is still out of the question?

Rather than pointing the finger of blame (and splurging on reports that provide a stick to beat our teams with), I think it's finding these solutions that we should be investing in.

Wednesday 4 August 2010

Celebrating the 'office feeder'. Let us eat cake.



It's that time of year when offices across the country are filled with back from holiday treats. Creamy fudge from a colleague who has returned from a holiday in Cornwall, maybe some buttery shortbread from a Scottish break, a few tubes of Toblerone hastily grabbed on a flight home or some cheap Spanish sweets. It's all part of office life (and a good one at that). Let's face it, these treats can often bring a glimmer of cheer to an otherwise dull working day.

If you have an enthusiastic baker in your team, I say clap your hands with excitement and prepare for your taste buds to be delighted. Freshly baked goods, often brought in for no particular reason other than to create a bit of office joy are a godsend in my eyes. (I feel at this point I should express my appreciation to colleagues who have provided a whole range of fabulous treats for me over the years. I applaud your skills.)

But some evil people out there (such as this journalist for the Daily Mail) are labelling these generous individuals as 'office feeders'. Yes, apparently you should beware of the double-crossing, two-faced person sharing their delicious, melt in the mouth home-made cookies with you. No, they're not laced with poison but with a far more shocking intent. Apparently, it's an unstoppable desire to make us fat that drives them to the mixing bowl time after time. Forget friendly gestures, they're just trying to make us fail with our diets; it's their rather heavy handed way of making sure we are fatter than them. Pffff. Some people are so ungrateful. And too willing to blame their own lack of will power on someone else.

My view, let there be cake and lots of it. Work is stressful. On a bad day where everything is going wrong, where you've had your head down working and no time to even chat to the person next to you, the temptation of a cake can get you off your seat and catching up with a colleague quickly as you share a bite to eat. It can bring a smile to your face and camaraderie to the team. If you're on a diet, just have a small piece or don't bother. But if you do indulge, it seems unfair to blame the person providing the goodies for your lack of will power.

Anyway, rant over. Office bakers and treat buyers out there, please don't be discouraged by this horrible article. In my eyes you will always be the office lifesavers!